


There for You (when your tears broke down your pillow like a river)

by charm7412



Category: The Dark Artifices Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, I'm dramatic, M/M, and yes kit and livvy WERE a couple, don't expect anything qoaad related, i actually hate myself for writing this, look i'm sorry, so it's not in the warnings, there's a death but it's not MAJOR, this was written before qoaad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-05-28
Packaged: 2019-10-05 09:48:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17322701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charm7412/pseuds/charm7412
Summary: “What? Are you joking, Livvy?”“It's true,” replied Livvy. Her blue-green eyes were filled with certainty, staring at her twin brother sitting across the table. “Kit asked me out. I said yes.”This idea came out of nowhere, started out as a high school au, ended up as the most dramatic story I have ever written. Three shot! In which Livvy dates Kit, Ty and Kit becomes friends, Ty has a crush, then everything goes to hell.





	1. You're driving me wild

**Author's Note:**

> Everything from the story title to the chapter titles are from our lord and saviour Troye Sivan

Leave this blue neighbourhood

Never knew loving could hurt this good

And it drives me wild

Cause when you look like that

I’ve never ever wanted to be so bad

It drives me wild

You’re driving me wild, wild, wild

_ ~Troye Sivan, WILD _

* * *

“What? Are you joking, Livvy?”

  
The loud yelling from the corner of the cafeteria made several students jumped up their seats. They never expected any noise to come from the spot Ty Blackthorn sat.

  
“It's true,” replied Livvy. Her blue-green eyes were filled with certainty, staring at her twin brother sitting across the table. “Kit asked me out. I said yes.”

  
Ty let out an inhuman shriek, which he never did. “Are you kidding me?”

  
Kit Herondale was the school resident playboy. Popular and hot, he was also related to Jace Herondale, the last most popular guy at school (who was not a playboy, unlike Kit). Kit was openly bisexual, which mean there were a lot more people to date with. He dated around all the time and dumping people like trash. Most of his relationships only lasted for a week. He had already dated half of the school by this point.

  
Not only that, Kit was the only person at school that Ty actually disliked. He once made fun of why Ty was always wearing headphones, then proceeded to snatch it away, and accidentally broke it by throwing it out the window. Ty had never forgiven him.

  
“Kit is a stuck-up jerk. Livvy, why are you even dating him?” questioned Ty, after calming down a bit.

  
“Kit isn’t really that much of a jerk, Ty-Ty. He’s actually a really nice person,” replied Livvy, her fingers fiddling her brown hair. “He asked me, so I accepted,” she shrugged a bit, indicating it wasn’t much of a matter. “He’s also good-looking, and I have to admit I do have a bit of a crush on him.  So, Ty, please don’t plan to do anything on Kit, okay? It’s not like I’m expecting this relationship to last long.”

  
Ty didn’t protest, seeing Livvy’s calm behaviour. He admitted he was acting kind of rash just now, and that was something he never did.

  
Sensing Ty’s silence, Livvy smiled. “Thanks, Ty. It means a lot to me.”

  
Ty didn’t reply. He put on his headphones and resumed listening to his classical music. Meanwhile, Livvy silently ate her lunch.

  
Ty might not plan to do anything on Kit, but it doesn’t mean he wouldn’t talk to him. He dug out his phone from his pocket and messaged Kit:

  
_Ty: You asked my sister if she would date you?_

_  
Ty: What is wrong with you?_

_  
Ty: You didn’t have enough fun throwing my headphones, so now you are messing up with my sister?_

_  
_ A few moments later, his phone vibrated.

  
_Kit: dude, chill_

_  
Kit: the headphones thing was like 2 years ago_

_  
Kit: asking livvy out is totally not related to that_

_  
Kit: shes a nice girl and i really need a fresh breath of air after paige broke up with me_

_  
Kit: paige is one fucking bitch_

_  
_ Right, Paige. Paige Ashdown dated Kit for a whole month (a rarity), then broke up with him in front of the whole school after cheating with a jock. Ty wondered if that was one of the few times Kit wasn’t the one doing the dumping.

  
_Ty: That doesn’t mean you can date my sister_

_  
Ty: Just because somebody dumped you_

_  
_ Ty didn’t check his phone after sending the text. “Livvy, I’m heading off for Biology,” he said. “Ok, sure,” replied Livvy. “I saw you texting to someone just now, is it Kit?”

  
Ty didn’t answer.

  
“Ty, I know it’s hard, but can you at least be less mean to him? It’s Biology. Kit’s there too. Try and sit next to him and start a conversation with him without trying to kill him, okay?” asked Livvy.

  
Ty nearly forgot that Kit was in the same class of Biology.

  
“I’ll try,” replied Ty.

  
Biology was going to be a disaster.

  
Kit was smirking when Ty entered the lab. “So, I'm dating your sister,” said Kit, as Ty unwillingly sit next to him (Livvy forced him). It's not like I would hurt her or anything. She's dating world-famous Christopher Herondale, there's no need to worry.”

  
Ty glared at Kit. “I promised Livvy that I wouldn't plan anything against you, but she didn't say anything about disagreeing what you said. And to be honest, most of the girls you dated with got their hearts broken. I don't want that to happen to Livvy.”

  
“Relax,” said Kit lazily, clearly ignoring Ty’s words. “Livvy would have known the risks of dating me before agreeing to it. I literally made a list of ‘Potential Risks of dating Kit Herondale’ and read it to her before she said yes.”

  
Miss Loss had entered the classroom, so Ty didn't answer. Instead, he took a piece of sticky note and wrote:

  
_We'll talk about this later. With Livvy._

  
He shoved the note to Kit without glancing at him. He turned and began flipping into his book and jotting down his notes.

  
Kit leaned in and whispered into Ty’s ears as Ty was finally getting immersed in the lesson. Ty couldn't help but shiver as he felt Kit’s breath.

  
“As you wish, Tiberius.”

* * *

   


  
Livvy crossed her arms as the three of them gathered around the dinner table at the Blackthorn residence. It was very awkward.

  
Kit hung his arm around Livvy’s waist, and she finally relaxed. To be honest, Kit didn't really understand Ty’s insistence on having a talk regarding their relationship, but then Livvy, who was extremely protective of Ty, wouldn't say no.

  
So here they were, sitting uncomfortably, none of them talking. Kit could see the Blackthorn’s older brother, Julian, and his girlfriend, Emma Carstairs, head outside, holding hands. Their gazes were only on each other, never breaking apart.

  
Kit sometimes wondered if he could ever experience a romance like that. All the people he had ever dated, boys or girls, were only there for his popularity and looks. No one ever truly cared about who he was.

  
Ty broke the silence and interrupted Kit’s train of thoughts. “I don't approve the two of you dating. No way. But for Livvy’s sake, I'm not going to bother you two.”

  
Kit grinned. He was kind of scared that Ty might kill him for asking his sister out, so he felt relieved. “Great. Then the business here is done.”

 

He got up to leave, and he was about to kiss Livvy on the cheek and say his goodbyes when Ty interrupted.

  
“I just want Livvy to be happy, so I'm going to kill you if you do anything to her. Do you understand, Christopher?” asked Ty.

   


Ty’s firm gaze settled on Kit’s face. Staring at Ty’s grey eyes, Kit nearly felt like getting lost in it. He looked beautiful.

  
“Okay, okay, I get it,” he answered, trying to break himself out of his trance. By the Angel, he’s dating Ty’s sister!

  
Livvy smiled. “I've felt like I have to say this. Ty, feel free to crash on our dates,” she grinned mischievously. “You two definitely need to acquaint since I don't want you two after each other's throats, and I don't want you to feel left out, Ty-Ty.”

  
Ty only gave Kit a cold glance. “Fine. I will check out on you guys to make sure he doesn't do anything wrong.”

  
Kit pursed his lips. “You hurt me, Ty,” he said in the sickest tone.

  
Both Livvy and Ty shot him a glare.

  
“I get it, don't be offensive to Ty or hurt Livvy, right?” mumbled Kit. He opened the door and kissed Livvy’s cheek quickly. “I'll see you tomorrow, babe.” He flashed a flirty smile to Livvy.

  
Livvy giggled and her face flushed red. “I'll see you tomorrow. Are we going on that date tomorrow?”

  
“Yes, definitely,” replied Kit. “I'll text you the details later.”

   


Kit headed home, where he had lived at ever since his father died. Jace, his cousin, was kind enough to offer him a place with his girlfriend, Clary.

 

Jace and Clary were like THE couple. Perfect and everything. The ideal relationship.

  
To be honest, Kit wasn't sure why he’d asked Livia Blackthorn out. Sure, she was pretty with her brown long hair and her mesmerizing blue-green eyes, but the fact she was Ty’s sister, who was known to be a freak at school, drove anyone who had an interest on her away.

  
But then when he talked to Livvy, she was different from all those other girls who had approached him before. She smiled genuinely and didn't view Kit as ‘just that popular guy’. She was kind, and that was the main reason he asked Livvy out.

Livvy might actually be the one for him.

  
Kit, however, had forgotten about Ty.

  
Kit felt like mentally slapping himself.

  
Nearly everyone at school knows that Ty has autism. Young Kit was an idiot who didn't know that, and he did something irreversible on his first interaction with Ty.

  
Kit regretted it, but he would never admit it out loud.

  
Maybe dating Livvy might repair what torn the two of them. Maybe he can befriend Ty. It sounds ridiculous, but Livvy was the first person who accepted him. Maybe Ty would accept him too.

  
Kit’s house was just a few blocks away from the Blackthorn's, so it didn't take long for him to get back.

  
“I'm back,” he mumbled, his voice echoing on the empty hallways.

  
Jace and Clary must be out on a date again.

  
That reminded him, Kit promised to bring Livvy on a date to watch a movie. He grabbed his phone and texted her.

  
_Kit: hey so abt the movie_

_  
Kit: wht do you want to watch ;)_

  
Kit put down his phone and started arranging his stuff and do his homework. Unfortunately, the only assignment he had was maths, the subject he is the weakest at.

  
After spending about half an hour trying to figure out his math assignment, his phone vibrated.

  
_Livvy: I don't have anything particular in mind, but there's this movie Ty wants to watch about animals_

  
_Livvy: we could watch that, and Ty could come with us so won't be left out  
Livvy: don't refuse_

 _  
_ Kit groaned. What a great idea for the first day with Ty along. But then with Ty along, maybe he can finally get on Ty’s good side.

_  
Kit: fine_

_  
Kit: im paying_

_  
Kit: i'll see you tmr 1:30 at the cinema_

_  
Kit: and ty_

_  
Kit: :)))_

_  
_ That was one thing done.

  
Kit let out a groan of frustration. He truly sucked at maths. No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t seem to get it right. His teacher had warned him several times that he should find help.

  
Kit, of course, didn’t do that. He never bothered to ask anyone's help.

  
Kit decided to throw away his assignment for the moment, he should focus on preparing for the date tomorrow.

  
He should also figure out a way to impress Ty so he would finally approve of him dating Livvy.

* * *

   


  
Ty didn’t feel like expecting much for this whole ‘crashing the date’ thing. When Livvy asked him if there was any he was interested in, he didn’t expect Livvy to text that to Kit. He certainly didn’t expect Kit agreeing to watch a documentary about animals, or to him crashing their date.

  
Livvy said that it was fine. Ty thought otherwise.

   


Livvy forcefully dragged him out not taking no for an answer, and Dru yelled “have fun on that date!” at the back while Julian smiled proudly.

  
Ty supposed he would have to force himself to enjoy this whole “date”.

  
He was glad he had low expectations.

  
It wasn’t like Kit and Livvy made out right next to him (he never understood what is so special about making out or kissing in general), but Kit had drooled on his shoulder while leaning on it asleep.

  
Kit. Fell. Asleep. (And he drooled.)

  
Such a great impression on a first date.

  
Ty personally found the documentary very interesting, for there were too many things about animals that made him confused. The whole documentary was about endangered animals (mainly on insects), and it got Ty engrossed.

  
He simply couldn’t understand Kit. His behaviour right now was making Ty dislike him even more. Also, his shoulder felt a bit pained with Kit leaning on it.

  
The documentary ended.

  
Ty nudged Kit, and he woke up with a jolt.

  
“Has the movie finished?” asked Kit, yawning slightly.

  
Ty gave Kit a glare. “Yes.”

  
Livvy awkwardly pulled Kit's hand and hold it. “I bet you are hungry,” she said. “Should we go grab some ice cream?”

  
“Sure!” replied Kit excitedly.

  
Ty nearly felt like rolling his eyes. Of course, ice cream would be the thing Kit want.

  
In the end, Livvy and Kit shared a double scoop with chocolate and mint chocolate, while Ty licked his own mango ice cream. Ty didn't focus on what they were talking about. Instead, he silently observed the people passing by.

  
“...my maths is pretty terrible, and I just can't find a way to improve it.” Kit was saying, “Jace wants me to find a tutor, but I don’t want one.”

  
Livvy frowned and glanced at Ty. “Ty has really good grades at maths. Maybe he can tutor you?”

  
Ty, who was spacing out, nearly choked on his ice cream.

  
Kit did the same thing, except with exaggerated choking sounds. It took a few seconds for both to collect themselves, then the both of them shared a look and yelled loudly,

  
“What?”

  
“Are you kidding me?”

* * *

   


  
And that was how Kit ended up at the Blackthorn's on a Wednesday night.

  
Ty impatiently pointed out Kit's mistakes, who, in return, grumbled a complaint and corrected his answers.

  
Ty was absolutely confused why Livvy would suggest this. He knew that she wanted the two of them to “bond”, but why use tutoring as a way to bond (It wasn’t even like Ty wanted to “bond”)?

  
Kit let out another growl of frustration. “Maths is hell!” he complained, chucking his pen on the table frustratedly.

  
“So why don't you stop dating my sister?” growled Ty. “That way, you don't have to face me or maths.”

  
Kit gave Ty a strange look. “Why would I dislike facing you? Sure, I hate maths, but that doesn't mean I hate you at the same time.”

  
“I don't understand.”

  
“What?”

  
“I don't understand the fact you just said you don't hate me.”

  
“Oh, that,” said Kit casually. “I never hated you. That ridiculous headphones thing you can't stop mentioning? I regret it. That's the whole thing that is making you dislike me? Isn't it?”

  
Ty didn't reply, but his silence indicated his answer.

  
“Guessed it. But well, I think an apology is still required. So, Tiberius Blackthorn, I'm very sorry for what I have done, so can we be friends and I can date your sister without any objection?” Kit gave Ty a sincere look.

  
Ty wasn’t sure if he was ready to forgive him yet, but there was one thing he was very determined to know, “do you truly love my sister?”

  
Kit paused, startled by the question.

  
“To be honest, I’ve only started falling for her. She’s a nice and kind girl, and anyone could fall for her,” he said, pride shimmering in his eyes. “And yes, I am in love with her. I certainly am.”

  
“I don’t understand what love is,” muttered Ty.

  
“Say what?”

  
“Nothing,” grumbled Ty.

  
“Ty, it's ok if you don't understand what love is. I mean, there are plenty of aromatics out there,” said Kit reassuringly.

  
“I do want love,” retorted Ty, “I just don't understand this whole feeling in general. I never had an attraction to...anyone.”

  
“I'm sure the right one will come in the right time.”

  
They resumed to the silence. The only sound was the pen scratching paper.  
Kit broke the silence. “Did you ever tell anyone about this? Livvy?”

  
“No. Not even Livvy.”

  
“Since I'm the only person who knows your secret, does that mean we are friends?” questioned Kit.

  
Ty knew it would be impossible to not refuse Kit, not while he shared him a secret. A private one. “Yes.”

  
Kit grinned like an idiot, and raised his pinkie in front of Ty, “Promise that we are actually friends?”

  
Ty felt the edges of his mouth curling. He reached out and hung his finger on Kit's.

  
“Promise.”

* * *

   


  
They became fast friends.

  
Kit would make a joke, and Ty would laugh at it. Ty would join Kit and Livvy on their dates (not crashing) and tease Kit for being a terrible boyfriend. Ty would smile seeing Kit and Livvy being lovey-dovey, and he would share his deepest, darkest secrets to nobody but Kit.

  
If anyone told Ty a few months ago that he would be best friends with Kit, he would have scoffed at the idea.

  
How things have become different.

  
“So,” said Kit. “It's me and Livvy's six months anniversary, and I want to do something special for her. Do you have any ideas?”

  
“Livvy likes anything related to maths or coding, she’s good at both.”

  
Kit groaned. “Come on, you are totally not helping me in any way-” He paused, realizing something. “Wait, did you just say Livvy is good at maths?”

  
“I did.”

  
Kit chuckled. “I should have known that the whole ‘having you tutor me maths’ thing was to get us to stop glaring at each other.”

  
“I already figured it out ages ago,” stated Ty.

  
“You what?”

  
“You’re just an idiot, Kit.”

  
“I’m killing you!” yelled Kit as he surged forward to reach Ty’s neck, pretending to strangle him. “That's for not telling me!”

Ty disliked physical touch, and Kit knew that (but he couldn’t control himself half the time), yet he didn’t flinch when Kit touched him. His neck felt like burning wrapped around Kit’s hands.

  
“Just kidding,” joked Kit, releasing Ty’s neck. “Please tell me what I should do for Livvy?”  
Ty didn’t answer. He could still feel the heat of Kit’s hands from where he touched him.

  
The strange feeling inside his chest was driving him wild.

* * *

   


  
Kit came over on the day of his and Livvy’s anniversary.

  
They didn’t do much (Ty didn’t have any helpful advice) and only lounged at the living room watching Sherlock.

  
“That’s not even the right time period,” complained Ty. “This is totally disrespecting Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s work.”

  
Both Kit and Livvy laughed at Ty’s never-ending commentary. Ty couldn’t help but notice how tightly their fingers were laced together. Something inside him urged him to grab Kit’s free hand.

  
Ty didn’t follow his urges.

They laughed and talked as the watched the show, with Kit and Livvy occasionally pecking each other’s lips sweetly, delighted and smitten by each other. They were so perfect that Ty felt that strange feeling again.

  
When Kit eventually fell asleep and leaned on Ty’s shoulder, Ty allowed him to do so. He didn’t shift away, just sitting there, content with complaining about how inaccurate the show was. Livvy didn’t end their conversation, despite staring at her boyfriend’s sleeping state.

  
Ty saw Livvy absent-mindedly played with Kit’s soft hair, and he couldn’t help but wonder how it felt to touch Kit’s hair. He let his hand pet Kit’s head, but only lightly, as to not wake up the other boy.

  
This strange feeling and his urge to touch Kit all the time was making Ty confused.

* * *

   


  
Kit twisted his ankle accidentally while trying to skateboard, despite Ty warning him not to do so.

  
Ty immediately gave him ice and bandaged his leg, frequently asking “does it hurt?”, “are you in pain?”

  
Kit grimaced and forced a smile as Ty checked his injuries. “It's okay, Ty.”

  
“Stop acting,” grumbled Ty. “You are not allowed to get hurt under my watch again. Don't do anything stupid again.”

  
Kit grinned. “I will.”

* * *

   


  
Kit went with Jace and Clary on a short trip to London.

  
Ty thought of calling Kit so he could he hear his voice, but he didn't want to bother Kit, he was probably having fun seeing the London landscape. Kit had sent Ty and Livvy plenty of photos, but he still missed him. It felt lonely with one of his friends missing. He sent Kit a text.

  
_Ty: I really miss you._

_  
_Ty: Come back soon.__

 

_Ty: And have fun._

* * *

   


  
Ty realized what that feeling was at his birthday party with Livvy.

  
Ty disliked the “usual” parties (booze, loud music, couples making out everywhere), and instead, they had a small party with the Blackthorns, Jem, Tessa, Jace and Clary.

  
They lit a gigantic birthday cake (Julian taught Kit and Dru to make it), and Ty felt happier than ever.

  
Kit leaned in to kiss Livvy after they blew out the candles, murmuring a “happy birthday, babe” softly to her. They slipped off to Livvy's bedroom quietly.

  
Dru and Julian hugged Ty so hard that he could hardly breathe. Livvy was radiant and beaming when she sat next to him while eating his cake.

  
“Kit says he is considering moving in with us.”

  
“That's nice,” replied Ty. “Is this how he shows his love to you?”

  
“Ty!” Livvy flushed. “That's not it. To love somebody is to be willing to do anything for the said person, and there are also, uh, other things…”

  
Ty understood what she meant. “How does it feel to love someone?”

  
“For me? I would say that I craved for Kit's touch and I would touch him all the time. I also want to do anything for the sake of him. I would always like to see him, and I would feel like dying if I am not with him even if it's just a short period. And I definitely don't want him to get hurt.”

  
“I see.”

  
Livvy smiled. “I'm sure you would figure yourself out one day, Ty Ty. I'll talk to you later.” She stood up and walked away, presumably to talk to Julian.

  
Ty's mind couldn't stop replaying Livvy's words. The things fit. What Livvy described was exactly what he had felt with Kit.

  
Ty looked across the room where Kit was sharing a joke to Dru. He tried to drink into Kit's looks, his mop of blond hair, his striking blue eyes.

He was beautiful. Suddenly, everything made sense. The protectiveness, the craving for touch, the loneliness when he wasn't around. The strange feeling that drove him wild.

  
Ty was in love with Kit.

  
“Fuck,” said Ty for the first time in forever.

  
Discovering what that feeling did not make things any easier. The fact that his sister was dating the person he liked, and said person was totally in love with her, was driving Ty insane.

  
Ty was in love with Kit, the guy he hated about a year ago. The fact he and Livvy was a perfect couple made the situation even more absurd.

  
If it was in any normal situation, Ty would have told Livvy, but he couldn’t. He knew that Livvy was always protective of him and knowing that Ty liked Kit might break Livvy and Kit’s relationship.

  
He figured he should tell someone, but he was unsure. Maybe it would be better if he just hides it. Livvy and Kit can date happily, and if Livvy broke up with Kit, Ty might no longer like him.

  
As time goes on, his feelings might disappear. He highly doubted he was worthy to be Kit anyways.

  
Ty made a decision.

  
“Uh, Ty, stop staring at your salad bowl,” said Livvy. Ty broke away from his trance, too focused on his thoughts.

  
“I'm sorry,” he muttered. Kit smiled at Ty, “you okay?”

  
Ty flushed. He shouldn't have agreed to join dinner with Kit and Livvy. His heart was yelling at him to stop being so stupid.

  
“Yes.”

  
Livvy kissed Kit on the cheek. “We were talking about me and Kit moving out together, in case you weren't listening just now. What do you think?”

  
To be honest, Ty was shocked, but he was glad that Kit wasn't moving in. He wouldn't be able to stand to see him all day.

  
“As long as you're happy.”

  
“I was worried you won't allow me,” beamed Livvy. “I just need to ask Helen and Julian now.”

  
“One step closer to living together.” grinned Kit.

  
They kissed once, twice, thrice, and Ty felt his heart burning. His sister living with his crush, her boyfriend. They were very committed to each other by this point.

  
Ty figured out it was impossible for him to stop seeing Kit. He'll just have figure out how to get rid of his crush.

  
Ty stared at Kit's blue eyes, his golden blond hair. He was not going to lose himself by love.

  
He didn't notice Livvy looking at him strangely.

* * *

   


  
Time went by. They graduated from high school and went to separate universities. Kit and Livvy moved in together. Ty still liked Kit.

  
They graduated from universities and found their own job. Kit and Livvy continued dating.

  
And Ty still had a crush on Kit. It never went away.

  
Ty wasn't sure why it never went away. In fact, his desire for Kit was growing even stronger. Any slight touch drove him crazy. Loving Kit was hurting him too much.

  
Of course, he couldn't refuse when Kit invited him to dinner alone. He couldn't.

  
They were eating in silence, a rarity, since Kit usually never stopped talking. His hands were fidgeting. He was nervous.

  
What for?

  
“What’s the problem, Kit?” asked Ty.

  
Kit hands run through his hair, a habit of his when he got nervous. “I...I’ve been with Livvy for many years now, and I’ve been thinking about...proposing to her.”

  
Ty wasn’t sure how he should react. He knew this day was coming closer and closer seeing how inseparable the two of them were. He just never expected Kit to talk to him, alone, before proposing.

  
He still loved Kit, and that hurt him so much.

  
“I want to ask to for your blessing and permission.”

  
Ty was silent.

  
Kit was clearly panicking. “Ty, I really love her. Please don't say no to something like this. Please.” He was eyes shone with desperation.

  
Ty wasn't planning to refuse, but Kit was making it even more difficult to refuse.

  
“Okay.”

  
“Really? Thank you so much!” exclaimed Kit, excitedly grabbing Ty’s hands.

  
Ty tried to ignore Kit’s touch.

  
“I’m happy for you two,” he said. “Don’t you dare hurt her.”

  
“I’m not.” pouted Kit. “I’ve been dating her for years. Why would I hurt her?” He fished out a small box from his pocket and opened it. “Do you think she will like this ring?”

  
It was pretty, with an alexandrite gem in the middle. It was green and purple at the same time, swirling and stunning.

  
“She would. She always loved purple and green.”

  
Kit let out a sigh of relief. “I’m scared she might refuse because the ring looked ugly.”

  
“It doesn’t.”

  
“I know.”

  
Kit smiled. “I can’t believe how far things have come.”

  
“Me neither.”

  
They remained silent for the rest of the meal, eating in silence, but Ty could tell Kit was pumping with excitement.  _He would be filled with joy when Livvy said yes,_  thought Ty, staring at Kit’s cheerful grin.

  
_And he would never know how I feel._

  
“When are you proposing?”

  
“Next week, I think. It’s our anniversary.”

  
“Congratulations.”

  
“Don’t you dare congratulate me this early! I might actually fail!” joked Kit.

  
Ty highly doubted so, but he smiled. “Then I wish you good luck.”

  
Seeing Kit so overjoyed made Ty’s heart soar, even though he knew he was not happy because of him. Kit was happy because of Livvy. Of Livvy.

  
Sometimes he wished love would stop hurting him all day.

* * *

  
Kit was, no doubt, excited.

He would be proposing to the love of his life today, and they would be together forever from now on.

Despite the room was empty, he yelled, “We’re going to take each other's names!” He imagined their neighbour being irritated hearing his yelling, but nobody came knocking.

He had set up the perfect environment: a romantic candlelit dinner, with balloons and red tablecloth and...okay, maybe he was overdoing it.

Livvy was out for work, and she would be back in about ten minutes. Kit took a deep breath and exhaled. He’s going to do it.

He’s going to propose.

He quickly typed a text to Ty.

_Kit: im doing it now_

_Kit: wish me luck ;)_

Ty replied him with a brief message.

_Ty: Good luck, Christopher._

Livvy came back soon, and as soon as she looked around her surroundings, she was shocked.

“Kit, what-”

Kit was holding the box and kneeling on one knee, grinning sincerely.

“Livvy, I have known you for years and we were the best couple ever. You were the one who showed me kindness and told me I am capable to be loved. You were the reason why I became friends with Ty. You laughed and gave me happiness. We have been living together for a long time too. So-”

He took a deep breath.

“Livia Blackthorn, will you marry me?’

Livvy’s face was flustered, but her lips were pressed in a thin line. She wasn’t smiling. She looked like she was doubting. Her eyes were red and watery.

“Kit, I’m sorry, but-”

Kit’s smile fell.

“For the sake of-” she paused like she shouldn’t have said that, and continued, “I have to say no-” she paused again. “Kit, I’m sorry.’

“Why?”

“I’m just, I’m so sorry,” said Livvy, “I-I got to leave.” She turned around and left the house, opening the door. “Forgive me, I can’t do that.” She walked away and closed the door, leaving Kit alone.

Kit was crestfallen. He was tearing up and sobbing violently.

The first thing he did was try to call Livvy, but it immediately went to voicemail. Kit was unable to speak with him crying, so he ended the call.

Instead, he texted her,

_Kit: livvy, please_

_Kit: i love you_

_Kit: why did you say no?_

_Kit: call me if you see this_

Kit wanted to throw away his phone out of frustration, but he couldn't do it. Why? Why? Why would Livvy say no to him, the boy she had been dating for years?

Why only at this crucial moment?

Sobbing like a wreck, Kit texted Ty.

_Kit: she refused me_

_Kit: she left and i have no idea why_

_Kit: i dont even know anymore_

Ty was at home with the rest of his family (without Livvy, of course), waiting for the happy news. He told the whole family about it, and they were all waiting anxiously.

When Ty received a text from Kit, they all jumped from excitement. The message wasn't exactly what they were expecting.

_Kit: she refused me_

_Kit: she left and i have no idea why_

_Kit: i dont even know anymore_

Ty was completely shocked. Livvy refused Kit, but for what reason?

_Ty: Are you all right?_

_Ty: I'll try to find Livvy_

Julian and Emma were already frantically calling Livvy, Helen sounded like she wanted to lit the whole house on fire. Mark was making unhelpful remarks and Dru and Tavvy did nothing both gave Ty a hug.

“It's going to be okay,” muttered Dru. “Livvy's going to explain all.”

Ty wasn't sure. He thought Livvy was going to be happy. He thought Livvy was going to say yes. He thought-

Julian's phone rang, breaking Ty's train of thoughts.

“Hello?” he asked hopefully. Julian’s face immediately fell.

A pause, Ty couldn't make out who was on the other side.

“Yes.”

Another pause, this time longer than the last one.

“Yes.” Julian looked like he was on the verge of crying.

There was another long, final pause.

“Thank you,” muttered Julian. The tears were already flowing down. Emma hugged Julian and frantically asked, “Jules, what's wrong?”

Julian looked up, staring at Ty.

“The hospital just called. Livvy's been hit and she's heavily injured,” he paused, choking on his own sobs.

“She's gone.”

Ty felt the sky crashing and crumbling in front of him. His heart turned into stone and dropped.

   



	2. Let's stop running from love, my baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which things continue to be a mess. Kit's a mess, Ty's a mess, except Ty is slightly saner unlike in Qoaad

Now, let's stop running from love   
Running from love   
Let's stop, my baby   
Let's stop running from us   
Running from us   
Let's stop, my baby

_ ~Troye Sivan, My My My! _

* * *

 

The funeral was held on a rainy day, and Kit had never felt so hollowed before, not even after his father’s death.

Livvy was gone. Hit by a car driven by Annabel Blackthorn, a distant relative of the Blackthorn’s. She was drunk driving at that time, and it cost Livvy’s life. It felt ironic that Livvy was killed by her own blood.

Annabel had fled the scene, but it took no more than three days to find her in a manor in Cornwall.

When they saw Livvy’s body for confirmation, he couldn’t even look at her. Not when it reminded of her smiling at him, taking care of him when he was ill, or just  _ Livvy _ . He could have been the one who stopped her from leaving the house, but he didn’t.

He regretted proposing to her.

He spent the whole week crying ever since Julian called him and told him the news. He did eat and drink, but he was like an empty soul: hollow and emotionless.

Kit thought he was going to enjoy a happy life with Livvy forever before he proposed, and now everything is shattering and it was his mistake.

Kit wished he could turn back time. Redone everything. Maybe Livvy would still be alive. He didn’t even care whether or not they were married.

Ty was in no better condition than him. He didn’t cry or anything, but his eyes were pitless and empty, his gaze was cold, and his words felt like icicles: cold and stabbing.

Ty had lost his reason to smile. Livvy was everything for him, and now she was gone.

Deep in his mind, Kit wondered why Livvy refused him, but that was no longer the main point. She wasn’t even here anymore.

The Blackthorn’s were sobbing while they burned Livvy’s body, which was (apparently) a Blackthorn tradition. Emma, which Kit had rarely talked with, looked tearful too.

There were a few strangers too. There was a black haired woman next to Helen, hugging her tightly, which Kit assumed to be her girlfriend. Mark was surrounded by Cristina and a blue haired guy (Kit felt uncomfortable around him). Jaime and Diego were also there, and Jace and Clary also came, claiming that they want to be by Kit’s side to give him some comfort.

When Kit went back to his apartment, he could still smell Livvy. Her sweet scent of roses filled the room, and it reminded Kit of her empty presence.

She was truly gone.

Kit cried himself to sleep that night.

* * *

 

A week passed by, then a month. Kit tried to get himself back on his feet, learn to adapt life without Livvy. He hadn’t attempted to contact the Blackthorn’s, any mention of them felt like touching a nerve on him.

Ty didn’t try texting him, neither did Kit. Kit wondered if their friendship would fall apart now that the person who brought them together was gone.

He desperately hoped it was not the case. 

Despite not contacting to Ty, Kit still missed him. But he wanted to get himself completely calmed down before talking him again, as he was still a wreck.

The buzzing of his phone came at the time he was at the supermarket checking the isles of ice cream. Ice cream was Kit's stress food, he ate it whenever he felt frustrated or sad, Livvy always complained that it was unhealthy to do so.

Kit almost slipped away, but he managed to contain himself and check his phone. It was a text from Ty.

_ Ty: I know we haven’t talked for a while, but please call me whenever you feel ready. There isn't anyone I can talk to. Perhaps you don’t want to talk to me anymore, not after what happened, but Christopher, I need you. _

Kit could feel the desperation in just one simple text. He missed Ty too, but he still didn’t feel ready yet. Not yet.

_ Kit: im sorry _

_ Kit: but please give me some more time _

_ Kit: im not yet ready _

_ Kit: ill find you when im sure _

After replying, he was surprised to hear his phone buzz immediately.

_ Ty: Look back, Kit. _

Kit turned around, and there was Ty.

He looked different after a month. His frame seemed to be thinner, his eyes as grey as ever, and his usual neat black hair was tousled. His gaze was a lot more...calmer than Kit last saw him.

Ty approached him. “I didn’t notice when I texted you, but...it seems like fate doesn’t care that you are not ready yet.”

Kit actually chuckled a bit. It had been a long time since he had even smiled. “Well, it seems like I don’t even have a choice.”

Ty's face was blank.

“What are you buying?”

“Ice cream.”

“That’s the thing you eat whenever you are sad. Kit are you fine?” asked Ty, concerned. “We both bear the pain of losing Livvy, but...it seems like you are blaming yourself for it.”

“How do you even know?”

“Kit, you look like a mess. You haven’t shave for a while, there’s a stain on your shirt and you haven’t washed it off. Also, your eyes.”

“My eyes what?”

“Usually it feels like crystal blue. Now it feels like a pool of sadness and pain with this whole ‘it’s my fault’ look.”

“You got me, Sherlock.”

Ty’s lips tugged upwards a bit. It was a bit of a joke for them, referring to each other as Sherlock and Watson respectively. Ty was an avid fan of Sherlock Holmes after all.

“So how are you, Ty?” asked Kit.

“I’m fine, to be honest. Livvy meant a lot to me, and time will not wash around the pain. But I’ve learnt to embrace it. That’s something you should also learn to do, Kit.”

“It was my fault that I proposed to her that day. It was my fault that I let her go that day,” stated Kit.

“Stop it, Christopher.” Ty grabbed Kit’s wrist. “We’re going to your place. Put back the ice cream.”

“But I need it! It’s my staple food now.”

“I am getting you out of this desperate state Kit. The first thing you need to do is stop eating ice cream.”

“But-”

“No buts. Where did you get these from?” muttered Ty, checking the tubes of ice cream in Kit’s hand.

“The Freezer.”

“There’s literally nowhere else you can get them from,” glared Ty.

“Then why did you ask?”

“I don’t expect you to answer, Watson.”

“Fine enough,” grumbled Kit.

They ended up sitting at Kit’s living room eating chocolate chip cookies (those were Kit’s favourite).

“So,” started Kit. “What were you doing here? You don’t even live nearby.”

“I came to see you,” shrugged Ty unapologetically. “You didn’t talk to me for a month, I thought you needed some space-”

“I did.”

“But I’m worried about you, Kit,” said Ty. “You’re pushing everyone away. I even asked Jace and Clary, and they said you never made a call to them since the funeral.”

Kit was happy that Ty cared. Really, he was. But it didn’t mean he could just act like bumping into him accidentally out of the blue.

“I figured I would just sneak around and have a look, but when I saw you like, all depressed and sad, I couldn’t stop coming up to you.” Ty paused. “I’m sorry for bothering you suddenly.”

“No, it’s okay,” replied Kit. “I just wasn’t ready to face… anything that reminds me of Livvy, but it was just my pulling excuses out.”

Ty shuffled closer to Kit, their shoulders nearly touching. “If you need anything, just tell me.”

“How are you...so calm after all this?”

“I’m not calm, Kit. Ever since she was gone, when I closed my eyes, I could see her calling at me. There has been a storm raging inside me all the time. I became a lot colder to others and straight out ignored Julian a few days ago. I just keep all my emotions inside and never cried for once. I may be calm on the outside, but I am not inside. So Kit, no, I am not calm.”

Kit wasn’t sure what to do, so he hugged Ty. Ty shuddered a bit, but he returned the embrace warmly.

“We could just do this forever,” whispered Ty into Kit’s ear, as they hold each other like they depended on it.

“We could.”

Kit was feeling dizzy from Ty’s embrace. He smelt nice, like a splash of mint and apple. It was refreshing. Kit felt like inhaling Ty’s scent all the time, it was intoxicating.

They broke apart, and Kit heard Ty muttering under his breath.

“What was that?”

“The words I like.”

“Oh.”

Kit remembered when Ty first told him his favourite words, he said it helped his mind to feel quiet. And Kit also told him his favourite words.

_ “Glass, twin, apple, whisper, stars, crystal, shadow, lilt.” _ _  
_ _ “Whisper would be one of mine, too. Cloud, secret, highway, hurricane, mirror, castle, thorns.” _

Kit jolted himself away from the memory.

Ty was yawning.

“Are you tired?”

“I took an hour ride to get here to see you,” said Ty. “It would be strange that I’m not tired.”

“Right. Do you want to stay here for the night? I can sleep on the couch,” offered Kit.

“If you don’t mind,” said Ty. “But you can sleep on the bed too, there’s space, right?”

There was space on the bed: it was for two after all, but Kit was unsure if he should share it with Ty, not after the whole month of the other half being empty; like his heart.

“Yeah.”

“Good.”

Ty stumbled to the bedroom and landed face flat on the bed. Kit couldn’t help but chuckle at Ty, he was fast asleep.

Kit stared at Ty’s sleeping face, peaceful and at rest. His black hair was in a mess, and he was clearly exhausted. He looked cute.

Kit barely registered at what he was thinking. Livvy was dead for a month, and now he was staring and her brother thinking how cute he looked.

Everything felt wrong.

Kit sighed and propped the blankets on Ty, who unconsciously wrapped it around his body, mumbling in his sleep.

Kit needed a shower to clear his mind.

* * *

 

Ty woke up feeling something warm wrapping around him.

The memories from last night flashed in his mind and he remembered that he offered to share the bed with Kit.

Ty flushed.

He had a hard time coping with Livvy’s death too, but he knew he had to learn to move on, no matter how hard it was. He thought the first thing he should try to do was to find Kit (he was very worried too), and things escalated really quick from then on.

There was something he had not told Kit.

A few days after Livvy’s accident, the police called him.

_ “Hello, is this Tiberius Blackthorn?” _

_ “I am. What’s the matter?” _

_ “It’s about your sister. Would you mind coming to the police station?” _

_ Ty darted out immediately. _

_ “Mr Blackthorn, we were researching at the contents of Livia Blackthorn’s phone for more details of the accident, and we found a recording that we believe she recorded for you but was unable to send it to you. Here’s a copy of it,” said the officer, handing Ty a USB drive. “We had already listened to it,  don’t worry, we won’t share any of its contents. It’s quite a private recording.” _

_ “Thank you.” _

_ “No problem,” replied the officer. “I would advise you not to listen to it until you are ready. It would be difficult for you to listen to your sister’s voice.” _

_ “Thank you, officer.” _

_ “No problem,” replied the officer. “My condolences to you.” _

Ty still hadn’t listened to the recording. He was too scared to do it, fearing that Livvy's voice would bring him back into the world of voidness that he had tried to avoid.

Kit was still hugging him tightly, not letting go.

Hugging in a bed...Was that called cuddling?

It was too comfortable in Kit’s embrace that Ty refused to move, he just laid there, feeling Kit’s arms wrapped around his.

Then Kit shuffled, and his head was right on Ty’s neck.

Ty stifled a breath.

Kit was breathing on his neck, and Ty felt more nervous than ever.

“...Kit?”

“...Yes?”

“Wake up.”

Kit grumbled something, but he moved nonetheless. Ty's face was completely flushed red. Kit was grieving for Livvy, and yet he was still thinking of Kit all the time. Just now, Kit was so closed Ty felt his stomach explode into butterflies.

He had to stop thinking about being in love with Kit.

Kit got up, his hair was a mess and he was yawning. He looked adorable. “ ’Morning.”

“Morning.”

“Did you slept well?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll make breakfast,” offered Kit immediately, and before Ty could reply, he was already out of the bedroom.

Ty could still feel the cold touch of the USB drive in his pocket. He was tempted to tell Kit about it, but he wasn’t so sure. The officer did warn him about the recording being ‘private’ after all.

Ty got up and went to the bathroom. He needed to shake his thoughts off. Liking Kit was once thing, but Kit deserved time to heal. He shouldn’t have find Kit at the first point. He was clearly still very bothered by Livvy’s death.

Ty knew he should listen to the recording, but yet he still felt so...uncomfortable.

Ty finished cleaning up and headed to the living room. Kit was wearing an apron and cooking in the kitchen.

“What are you making?”

“Egss.”

“I see.”

Ty closed his eyes and waited. Perhaps he should listen to the recording with Julian. He knew how much it hurt Julian when Livvy was gone. Perhaps he would like to hear her voice once more.

“It’s ready.”

Ty smiled, and answered, “thanks.”

* * *

 

After Ty left, Kit couldn’t help but think what happened last night.

After showering, he went back to his room and saw Ty sleeping peacefully. He looked adorable as he fisted the blanket.

Kit couldn’t stop himself from blushing.

He huddled himself on the bed and avoided touching Ty, afraid of disturbing him of his sleep.

_ So how did they end up cuddling? _

Kit blamed himself. When Livvy was still here, he would always cuddle her out of habit, Livvy would always do the same. Even when she was gone, Kit would still hug a pillow when going to sleep, it was him using the pillow to fill Livvy’s absence.

And when Ty was here…

When Kit woke up, he was too embarrassed that he made an excuse to leave as soon as he regained some sense.

Ty was so warm that Kit didn’t want to let go.

Kit shuddered. What he was fearing so much was slowly becoming true.

He was falling. Again. And fast.

The guilt that he felt was stinging him so much.

Livvy was here, by his side, just one month ago, and despite her refusing his proposal, he still loved her. And now Ty was here, and he felt more confused than ever.

He had no right to love Livvy’s brother, not when he was the one that caused her death.

Kit teared up.

That was when his phone rang. Kit immediately wiped his tears and received the call.

“Hello.”

“Kit, it’s Jace, Ty called me and said you are feeling a bit better, so I’m calling to see how you are doing.”

Kit didn’t expect Ty to find Jace after leaving his house, but he supposed it was time to face reality after talking with Ty yesterday. He could escape his crush from Ty, but he certainly can’t escape Jace.

“I’m fine. Ty coming over helped.”

“I’m glad to see you feeling better, Kit.” Jace paused.

“And just so you know, you should move on. Find someone else. You might not heal, but...it’s time to make a change.”

Kit wasn’t sure why Jace was making this conversation.

“Jace, I don’t need to talk about this,” protested Kit.

“You do.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“I’m not continuing,” grumbled Kit. “You win.”

Kit was sure Jace hissed a “yes!” under his breath. “So are you interested in anyone?”

“No!” yelled Kit furiously.

“You clearly are interested in someone, Kit, don’t you dare say that I’m wrong.”

“Can I say that you are wrong?”

“I knew it!” yelled Jace triumphantly.”Who is it? Do I know them-”

Kit cut the call before Jace could finish. He was about to put down his phone but he paused.

Instead, he dialled a number he rarely called. He was friendly with her, but they rarely called each other.

The other line was picked up a few rings later.

“Hello? Kit, you're finally calling!”

Dru's warm voice filled the speaker.

“Hey, Dru.”

Kit wasn't extremely close with Dru. They've talked several times on several occasions, and Kit liked her wit and bravery. She was a bit wild, but a fun person nevertheless.

But now he needed advice. In the past, he would have found Livvy, but she was gone, and the guilt was eating him up. He could also have found Ty, but it impossible to tell him his growing feelings, not when Ty would probably never love him. Jace was not trustworthy enough. The only person he could find was Dru.

“Hello? Earth to Kit?” asked Dru.

Dru broke Kit out of his trance. He inhaled and exhaled, then asked,

“Dru, can we come out and meet? I need some advice.”

“Sure!” replied Dru cheerfully. “Right now?”

“If you're okay, that is. Your place is so far from mine's.”

“Actually,” said Dru slowly, dragging her words. “I'm right down at your apartment. I was checking to see if Ty is here. But well, he phoned Jules and told him he was heading back. I was already planning to call you to see if you're here, but since it's totally a coincidence, I'm coming up!”

“Wait, what?”

A few minutes later, Dru was sitting in Kit's living room.

“So what is it? Spill the tea,” said Dru casually, sipping a cup of coffee.

“I might like Ty.” stuttered Kit.

“That’s it?”

“What were you expecting?”

“Something a bit more... serious.”

“Is it not serious enough that I like the person who is the twin brother of my dead girlfriend?” yelled Kit. “Even if I can be with him and he likes me back, I can’t help but feel guilty about all of it!”

“Woah, chill,”  Dru patted Kit’s shoulder. “Don’t freak out!”

“But I am!”

“Look, Kit,” said Dru. “I know you are not over Livvy, and neither am I, but if you really need to know this. Love doesn't wait. Find Ty. Tell him. If you fail, it's okay. If you succeed, then great for you! It's about time to get you back on your knees.” She paused. “I may not know whether or not Ty likes you, but I can say he cares about you. A lot. You should give it a try.”

“Right,” muttered Kit. If anything, it made him not want to try even more. The guilt was already eating him up, and now Dru's words and making him freak out more.

Time would make this crush diminish, and that's all Kit needs.  “I'll give it a thought.” Dru beamed.

He was so not going to confess to Ty. He'll take his time and wait for it to disappear.

* * *

 

Kit was improving, Ty could see.

He was smiling more and finally working again, and his face didn't drop when people who didn't know what happened to Livvy asked him about her.

He was more energetic and happy, and that made Ty slowly settled his worries.

But the recording was still unheard.

Ty's birthday was different from the past. The chocolate on the cake did not spell Livvy's name anymore. Livvy wasn't blowing the candles with him. Something felt like missing.

Kit gave a hug to him. “We're going to survive this,” he reassured. “We will stand by each other.”

Dru patted on his shoulder.

That night, after Kit left, Ty shut himself in his room and finally pulled out the USB drive and inserted it in his laptop. He put on the headphones Livvy gave him so long ago, and pushed play.

_ “Ty, I need to tell you something.”  _ Livvy's voice was trembling and her voice was slightly muffled.

_ “Kit proposed to me. And I said no.” _

Livvy exhaled.

_ “I love him. I truly do. But I can't do it. Ty, I noticed. The stares you gave him. The way you always talk about him. You asking me about love. _

_ Ty, I think you like him. Like,  _ like like.

_ I can't do this. Dating was one thing, but marrying him, I just couldn't bear to shatter your heart once and for all. Marriage is a commitment. But if I refused, you'll have a chance. _

_ And I'm giving you that. It's ok, Ty. I'm giving you a chance to get Kit. And giving Kit a choice. _

_ Don't waste it, Ty Ty, please.” _

The recording ended.

Ty was drowned in tears. This was the last source of Livvy's voice and Kit-

He couldn't believe Livvy was willing to sacrifice her love for her brother's sake.

_ “I would do anything for you.” _ He remembered the occasional whispers Livvy would give him, but Ty never thought it truly meant  _ everything.  _ It turns out it was.

Kit was everything to Livvy, and she let him go.

Ty was sobbing like a complete wreck.

Livvy gave him a chance, and he was not going to lose it.

When his tears finally dried out, he texted Kit.

_ Ty: Can we meet tomorrow at your place? I want to talk about something. _

Ty thanked Livvy. Her sister, his everything. She knew Ty, and she gave up her happiness for him. He once thought he couldn't live without her, but he realized that he could still move on.

Livvy was always there for him, even figuratively she was no longer there.

* * *

 

Kit didn't expect Ty to find him. His heart was racing at the thought he was visiting again.

_ Stop it, Christopher _ , he thought,  _ stop thinking about Ty in this way. _

He replied a “ _ sure _ ” and “ _ come any time _ ” to Ty.

Kit flopped on his bed, wondering why things have come to this point.

He missed Livvy.

It all started with him asking Livvy out, and now he was tangled in this mess. He fell for not one, but two Blackthorns. And coincidentally were twins. Just how? Clary and Jace often said that he had a lack of love in his childhood thanks to Johnny ignoring him half the time, but Kit loved his father. He had to agree that Johnny never really cared much for him.

_ He was searching for someone to love him and care about him. _

Livvy gave him the love he wanted, like sunshine to plants. She was warm and bubbly and fun to be with. She made Kit happier than ever.

Ty was different. Ty was just  _ there. _ He cared, but he always seemed to show no care towards love itself. Kit once wondered if Ty was someone along the asexual spectrum, but he never dared to ask fearing that Ty would feel pressurized.

Ty probably won't like him anyways. And Livvy was like a ghost in his mind, constantly reminding him that they were together and it is wrong to fall in love with her twin brother.

Kit hates it so, so much. 

_ What do I even do tomorrow? What does Ty even want to talk to me? It's probably about Livvy. _

Kit groaned in frustration, wishing that things were less complicated. His talk with Dru didn't help much either.

Maybe he could ask Jem and Tessa for advice. But then they had the most perfect relationship from the very beginning, excluding what happened with Will Herondale, who Jem and Tessa often talk fondly with.

Their relationship was simple compared to this whatever love triangle Kit is in.

Kit buried himself inside his cocoon of blankets and drifted into sleep while his mind kept on swirling.

_ Until tomorrow. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for not posting for so long despite saying I'll update in a week (sweats). School was really bothering and I had wrote NOTHING for chapter 3. I apologize for making you wait. Chapter 3 erm...might take ages. I'm generally a lazy person so hopefully, I can finish this within 2 months or so. Please forgive me. It's a happy ending I guarantee. Sometimes I just look at my work and go, "What is this trash?" so I'm often very uninspired to write. I would love it if you would comment and give me some advice!  
> If you didn't notice, chapter titles are all from Troye Sivan songs so all hail gay jesus and give him a listen if you never did!


	3. We've making shades of purple out of red and blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things finally settle down with Dru's help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi...I was like one month later than i promised. No shit. and sorry for the super crappy ending.

You don't have to say I love you to say I love you   
Forget all the shooting stars and all the silver moons   
We've been making shades of purple out of red and blue

_ ~ Troye Sivan, for him. _

* * *

 

Ty might have put on his best clothes on purpose.

Dru laughed a bit at him and asked, “going on a date dressing that nicely, Ty?” In which he shook his head in reply.

“I'm meeting Kit.”

“Oh,” said Dru walking circles around Ty. “Ohhhhhh,” she said, dragging it on purpose like she just realized something. “Ok, have fun.”

Ty face flushed a bit. “Bye,” he waved, leaving the Blackthorn”s.

It took an hour trip to arrive at Kit's. Ty took his time re-reading Sherlock Holmes Returns (he wasn't sure how many times he had read it already).

Kit opened the door and greeted Ty. “Hi. So...come in first?” Ty nodded curtly, he didn't dare to meet with Kit's eyes, scared of what might happen next.

They sat on the couch and Ty noticed that Kit was watching the television. It did not seem like any show Ty would watch.

“So… you have something to talk about?” asked Kit, his hands fidgeting.

_ Is Kit somehow nervous? What for? _

“Yeah.”

“Okay.”

Ty wasn't sure how to get started. Words came easily in his mind but not on his mouth. He wasn't sure how he should phrase to not make things worse, especially to Kit, who is still extremely fragile when it comes to Livvy.

Kit rested a hand on his shoulder. “Ty, you're shuddering. You know, you don't have to tell me whatever that is if you can't-”

“I'm fine. Just give me a second.”

“Okay.”

Ty finally reached into his pocket and took out the USB drive he had been hiding for months. He could see the confusion in Kit's eyes.

“What's that?”

“It's Livvy's last words. At least what we know of.”

Kit was shocked to the core. “How…?”

“She tried to send me a recording but didn't manage to. The police retrieved it from her phone.”

“Can I…?” asked Kit, reaching out for the drive. Ty put back the drive into his pocket before Kit could reach for it.

“It's Livvy's message for me. And it told me to take action. So here I am.”

Kit flashed a look of disappointment. “What action?”

Ty took a deep breath. It would be hard to talk about his own feelings while they were just talking about Livvy. He wasn't ready to speak. Looking at how disappointed Kit was made him swallow his words.

_ It was a bad idea to come here. _

“I'm sorry, I can't do this.”

Ty bolted out of the house, trying to contain the raging streams of tears.

“Ty, wait!” he could hear Kit screaming behind. “Don't leave!”

Ty wiped away his tears. He can't pick up the courage to confess after hiding it for so long, especially with Livvy's death still looming around.

Ty tried fishing around his pocket, only to find it empty.

He dropped the USB drive.

_ God damn it. _

* * *

 

Ty ran away before Kit could stop him.  _ What the hell was that? _ wondered Kit. Despite knowing Ty for years, he had never seen Ty reacting so strongly before.

Kit tried to call Ty, but no one picked up. It was like the day Livvy ran away. Panicked gripped Kit's chest.

_ No no no no no _

At the moment Kit noticed something on the floor. He picked it up and realized that it was none other than the USB drive Ty had shown him earlier.

_ Livvy's last message for Ty… _ Kit knew that he shouldn't listen to it, seeing Ty's freaking out just now, but curiosity and the strong desire to listen to Livvy's voice took after him.

When Livvy's voice rang in the room, Kit nearly choked with tears.

_“Ty, I need to tell you something._ _Kit proposed to me. And I said no._ _I love him. I truly do. But I can't do it. Ty, I noticed. The stares you gave him. The way you always talk about him. You asking me about love.”_

Livvy refused his proposal just because...Ty likes him too?

_ “Ty, I think you like him. Like,  _ like like.

_ I can't do this. Dating was one thing, but marrying him, I just couldn't bear to shatter your heart once and for all. Marriage is a commitment. But if I refused, you'll have a chance.” _

Why was Livvy willing to give up everything for her twin brother's sake? Why is she- Kit's mind was buzzing.

_ “And I'm giving you that. It's ok, Ty. I'm giving you a chance to get Kit. And giving Kit a choice. _

_ Don't waste it, Ty Ty, please.” _

Her voice was gone.

Kit held his face as he cried, tasting the salt of his tears. Ty liked him,  _ Livvy knew _ ,  _ she refused his proposal for Ty. _

Kit didn't know if he should be relieved that Ty also liked him, or that he should feel regretful for never noticing.

He swallowed and text Dru to meet him as soon as possible. Dru replied that she wasn't free, and is only able to come tomorrow.

Kit's mind was spinning. What the hell is he supposed to do now?

* * *

 

Ty buried himself in his bed.

Someone knocked on his bedroom and walked in.

“Ty?” asked Dru. “Kit asked me to meet him. What's the matter?”

Ty remained silent.

Dru sat on his bed. “You were meeting Kit earlier today, and Kit suddenly messaged me to meet him as soon as I can. It wasn't hard to guess something happened in between.”

Ty muttered a “yes” half-heartedly.

“Do you mind...telling me what happened? I can try my best to help.”

Ty was way too emotional at the moment to speak, so he grabbed the notepad and pen on his paper and begun writing:

_ I tried to confess to Kit and couldn’t do it since I was a nervous wreck, then I accidentally dropped the USB drive that contained Livvy’s last message to me, which coincidentally reveals my feelings for him and the reason why Livvy refused his proposal. I’m not an idiot to guess that Kit has probably already listened to it and hates me. _

Ty shoved the notepad to Dru. She finished reading in silence.

“Ty…why would Kit hate you after listening to the recording? He would feel confused at most.”

Ty snatched back the notepad from Dru.

_ He's my best friend. And Livvy's boyfriend when she was still here. Why wouldn't he hate me? I am literally the reason why she died in a way. If I didn't like Kit, she wouldn't have refused his proposal. If she hadn't refused the proposal, she wouldn't have left the house and died. _

“You don't have to blame yourself,” said Dru, sighing. “From my perspective, you both are idiots.”

Ty spoke for the first time. “...what?”

“Let's just say, your feelings are not so one-sided as you thought.”

“Are you serious?”

“I am. The day you and Kit finally met again, I was looking for you, but you were heading home already. So I paid a visit to Kit, and he mentioned that he might kinda have a crush on you…” Dru trailed off.

“And?”

“I encouraged him to speak up and tell you. It's obvious he didn't, seeing how you were acting just now. I thought something had gone wrong when he messaged me,” said Dru. “But it seems like that's not the case.”

“But something did go wrong!”  protested Ty.

“And it's my turn to meddle and fix your relationship,” mumbled Dru, standing up. “Don't worry, I'm sure your feelings won't be unrequited. I'm going to help. But you are going with me to see Kit tomorrow.”

“No! I can't face him! He'll hate me!”

“You have to do it someday. It's now or never. Even you don't go, I'm still going to tell him.”

“Fine.”

“Good,” replied Dru. “Take some rest and clear your help, because I'm going to save the day and you don't have to worry!”

Ty rolled his eyes.

* * *

 

Kit nervously waited at the coffee shop expecting Dru to show up in anytime.

Dru came into the coffee shop, but Kit jumped up when he realized there was someone behind Dru. And it wasn't anyone, it was Ty.

Kit nearly knocked the table over.

“...why is Ty here?”

Dru smiled and replied as she sat down, “I dragged him here. It's about time you two sort out about everything.”

Ty followed Dru and sat down, not speaking a word. His gaze did not meet Kit's, but Kit could see he didn't want to be here. He was fidgeting nervously on his seat.

“Sort out what?” asked Kit sipping his coffee and trying to not show his uncomfortableness.

“Your feelings. Or both of your feelings for each other.”

Kit nearly spat out his coffee. He put down his cup and chuckled nervously. “What are you talking about?”

“Your. Feelings. Idiot.”

Ty remained silent. Kit didn't dare to speak.

“You two dense beings are just terrible at communicating with each other, aren't you?

Let's make it simple. Ty, Kit like you. Kit, Ty likes you. And by like, I mean interested, as in boyfriend and boyfriend.”

“You like me?” asked Kit, trying to confirm the fact. Ty averted his gaze and blushed. Kit took it as a yes.

“What. The. Hell.”

“Yep,” grinned Dru cheerfully. “Ty told me about the recording, and I guessed you must have heard it. Livvy approves! So don't let her death loom around you forever, Kit. It's now or never. Unless you want to feel regret years later when Ty finds someone else to be with.”

Kit tried to shake away the image of Ty with anyone else but him. He failed.

“Great,” said Dru, as if Kit just said something. “I'm leaving you two idiots alone and, you know, sort things out. Bye!”

Dru waved and left the coffee shop before either of them could even react.

Everything was happening too rapidly. Kit could barely process it.

Ty broke the silence.

“I'm sorry. Dru dragged me here and threatened me she would still tell you if I don't come,” he shrugged. “Guessed that happened anyways.”

“Ty…”

“I'm leaving.” Ty stood up and headed to the exit.”

“Wait-” Kit stood up also and grabbed Ty's hand. “Don't leave. I want to talk to you.”

Ty turned and stared at Kit.

It was only then Kit became very aware of the people in the coffee shop staring at them, mouths gaping wide.

“Not here,” he quickly mumbled. “Let's go to my place.”

Ty could only awkwardly nod.

* * *

 

Ty drummed his fingers on the table absentmindedly. He had been sitting down as soon as they reached Kit's house, while Kit tried to make some coffee.

The absolute silence was torture.

Kit was (finally) done and moved to sit down in front of Ty, handing him a cup of coffee. Ty hadn't drunk anything at the coffee shop, but Kit was already downing his second cup of coffee of the day.

“You shouldn't drink coffee that much.”

Kit paused from what he was doing and stared at Ty.

_ Right, as if things weren't awkward enough. _

“I mean drinking so much caffeine in a day is bad for your health.” attempted Ty.

Kit stared back at him.

“...nevermind.”

Kit finally spoke. “I guess we should talk about the recording. And whatever Dru said.”

Ty averted his gaze. “You're going to reject me, right?”

“Wait, what? Of course not!”

“It was a terrible idea to allow Dru to drag me here and tell the truth. I know you want to tell me that you don't like me but you are trying to tell me without hurting me.”

“No, Ty!” said Kit. “Why the hell would I reject you? I do love you, okay! It's just...Livvy and all that!”

Ty wondered if he was dreaming. Did Kit just say he love him?

“What about Livvy?”

“Who would ever date the twin of his girlfriend after she died a few months ago? Plus, I thought you weren't interested in anyone or any relationships.”

“I thought so too. For a while. Until I met you. You were the only one I ever had feelings for.” Ty started trembling, his body moving uncontrollably. “I don't really understand.” He closed his eyes, trying to calm down.

He felt something warm hug him. “...Kit?”

Kit was embracing Ty. His warmth was surrounding Ty. “You're shivering,” he said, as if that was enough for explaining his sudden action.

Ty melted into his embrace.

“So,” said Kit as they parted. “I really like you, Ty Blackthorn. Can I go on a date with you?”

Ty chuckled a little. “Yes!”

“So are we official?”

“As in boyfriends?” Kit nodded nervously.

“Of course we are, Kit,” said Ty. “I liked you for way too long. Please tell me this isn't a dream.”

“It isn't,” replied Kit, finally pulling Ty close, their lips touching for the first time. “It's real.”

Ty felt like his nerves had jumped up for a moment.

“Kit?”

“Yes?”

“Where are you planning to bring me?”

"Uh…I have no idea."

"Seriously?"

It felt great laughing for the first time after days of worrying.

“You finally got together!” exclaimed Dru. “You know I’ve been waiting for that for ages!”

“Yea right,” said Kit, rolling his eyes. He called Dru while Ty was asleep, snuggling in his bed. Ty insisted him to call his family to tell them that he was staying the night.

“I was the one that got you together, so you better thank me!”

“Shut up.”

Dru sighed. “Just admit it! You two idiots are way too dense to ever admit without me nudging you.”

"Nope!"

"Good luck on your date!" added Dru finally, "and don't forget I'm waiting for wedding bells."

"Not so fast!"

* * *

 

"And they lived happily ever after," narrated Dru to Livia Blackthorn-Herondale, blinking and listening to her favourite aunt.

"So this is dads' story?" she asked curiously.

"Yes." 

Livia smiled wildly. "Dad never tells me what happened! No wonder why! He must be so ashamed of telling the truth that without you they won't be together!"

A loud "hey!" was heard from the staircase. Dru rolled her eyes.

"Seriously, educate your kid, Kit."

Kit walked down and grabbed Livia. "I know what to do with her, Dru. No need for your help."

"But she's my favourite aunt!" protested Livia. "And without her, you two would not have been my dads!"

"She's right," pipped in another voice. Ty just came back. He picked up Livia and spun her around, before putting her down. He then went on to peck on Kit's cheek. "You really should give Dru credit for that."

"Always saying the right thing, Ty," smiled Dru.

"I'll never admit it."

"Such chaos," said Dru, sighing dramatically, Livia mimicked her.

And they did live happily ever after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really lost inspiration to write this fic these few months. I started writing my original story instead, and I completely tossed this out of the window. Seeing my exams are approaching (literally tomorrow), i decided to finish this fic before it get forgetten forever. I orginally planned to writo the date too wear they visited a muesuem and stuff, but I truly lost heart. I'm sorry for that. But if you enjoyed this fic, be sure to leave a kudo and comment for criticism.


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